


marble statues crumbling to the dust they came from

by inkribbcn



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse), Silent Hill (Video Game Series)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Crossover, Gen, References to Resident Evil 4, Self-Harm, Silent Hill 2 Spoilers, Suicidal Thoughts, idk what else to tag, if i missed anything lmk i guess, leon is not a happy man, major major spoilers for that, no like seriously, not really but sort of, suffocation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:14:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23815978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkribbcn/pseuds/inkribbcn
Summary: "This is... it. The hotel room that Mary and I stayed in."
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	marble statues crumbling to the dust they came from

**Author's Note:**

> ! MAJOR SPOILERS FOR SILENT HILL 2 !
> 
> hi! it's me. posting something again. because i am a little garbage man and i have little gay hands
> 
> sorry if this is like OOC or anything like that, this is my first time writing james and like my 2nd or 3rd time writing leon. this was first written as a drabble to get me thinking about leon in silent hill 2 because i started writing that, and then it became its own thing. whether or not i might actually make this part of the AU crossover i'm writing is a toss up, so i'm throwing this out there anyways. sorry again if some of this is, like, weird? worded weirdly? i haven't like seriously written in a Hot Minute(tm) so it's probably gonna be weird
> 
> all in all though enjoy!! again major spoilers for silent hill 2, and references to re4, yadda yadda  
> if yall are actually interested though i might start posting the actual crossover au thing im writing but idk! this is me gauging interest 
> 
> comments n kudos appreciated <3

Leon looked around, taking in the drab surroundings-- surely this place looked better when the sun was shining through the windows. It was bright outside, but with the fog it felt as though this place was suspended somewhere... ethereal. 

He could hear the distant murmur of static unlike the harsh noise that followed monsters they'd encountered earlier. He turned his head to the television, the screen alive with dancing white noise. 

As Leon ran his fingertips over the furniture in the room, he heard James rummaging around behind him. It really did feel like this place would have been nice... But otherwise it was a nightmare. A hell Leon wished he could wake from, but no matter how much he wanted to and did let himself get hurt to wake up he just _wouldn't_ , and it scared him.

There's a reason why people come to Silent Hill. He had a feeling he knew what it was. 

The entire town had an air of death-- it smelled rotten, acrid-- sent burning memories of Raccoon City fresh into Leon's already fragile mind once more. The shambling creatures they'd encountered only worsened his state, and not even to mention the dilapidated, claustrophobic halls of the apartment buildings, and the hospital and every other run-down, dirty place they'd explored up until now threw him back to when he was twenty-one and trying to shove the fear down. Hell, he even came face to face with _another fucking Tyrant_.

The weight of it all threatened to crush him.

He’d known it from the beginning. Something-- had felt wrong. When he had come into Silent Hill, he had felt-- _wrong_. Leon sat down on a chair nearby and sighed, holding his head in his hands. This whole time he'd been shoving the fear down, trying to get through this nightmare of a mission.

Why was he here? The president had also mentioned something about a cult, like Los Iluminados two-point-fucking-oh _just_ as he was coming down from the shitshow that was that day and a half in Spain that left his body aching-- even now. He’d just barely finished his report on the whole experience when this mission had been dropped on him, and...

It was all bullshit. Absolute fucking bullshit. The town was rife with creatures he wasn't sure he could call infected or not, and he felt like he was being watched. Not only could he not find any trace whatsoever of any cults, he also didn't know whether or not this was all some damn setup or just a really unfortunate day. 

He would count on the last one, because it was just his luck that this kind of shit would happen, but the first didn’t seem like too-far fetched of an idea, either.

Leon gripped at his arms and took in a deep breath. He felt like his skin was too tight. There was a reason why people come to Silent Hill. If his reason wasn't really to investigate some B.O.W. cult, seeing as he couldn’t find any evidence of one, then what was it? The longer he spent here, the more obvious it became that this town drew in who they wanted, and they all had something in common. Each person they had come across were either violent, prone to violence, or experienced some sort of violence-- things that left them shattered and aimless. 

Leon could figure himself out, or had a bit of an idea. After all, ever since that night in Raccoon City he was shoved into a dangerous war against B.O.W.s he wasn’t sure would ever end, killing infected and awful humans alike. He didn’t know whether or not he regretted waking up late on September twenty-fourth of ninety-eight. He didn’t know whether or not he regretted not fucking killing himself-- well, that one he actually knew he didn’t regret, Sherry was like a daughter to him, and she’d already experienced enough death with people she cared about. Every little thing about this haunted town seeped deep into him, drew forth a guilt he’d shoved to the very bottom of his soul up and out and it was drowning him in it. 

Not only that, but Leon himself was taunted in ways that fucked with his brain, his perception, like this town was all in on some sick joke that he didn't know about. He saw the graffiti on the walls, the notes left behind. 

_How does it feel to kill so many people?_

They weren't people any longer, they were _infected_. 

_You're a mass murderer when you think about it._

It was his fucking job to fight bioterrorism, he’d vowed it as soon as he escaped the doomed Raccoon City… but of course he still felt pity for the victims he had to put down.

_You should do what you should have done in Raccoon._

He was long past the days of wanting to put a bullet in his brain, he knew he was. He told himself that day he and Sherry were picked up by government operatives-- no, that very second he had _met_ the bright and beautiful girl he called his daughter that he wouldn’t do that.

He couldn’t leave Sherry behind, no matter what. He wouldn’t.

… Right?

“Leon, there’s a VCR here. I can play that tape I found earlier." 

James' voice broke through the silence, broke through his ruminating thoughts, and Leon looked up again. He nodded and stood, walking over to join James by the television. It was old for the current era, a dingy little monitor with wood paneling and dials and everything-- but it still worked.

"Do you... know what's on this tape?" Leon asked, crossing his arms. He wasn’t really so cold earlier, but there was a residual chill in this room that didn’t seem to want to leave him. Dammit, why did he have to lose his jacket?

James leaned forward to gently push the tape into the VCR connected to the TV. "I don't, but I... was hoping to find out, or at least, remember. I’m… pretty forgetful, after all." He murmured, folding his hands as he sat in the seat before the television. Leon stood beside and looked down at James' hands, seeing them clasp tightly together as the image on the screen came to life.

Flickering, black and white, monochromatic. A figure walked onto screen-- Leon recognized who this was. It was Mary.

" _Are you taping again_ ?" She asked, with a sheepish smile on her face. " _Come on_..." 

The camera zoomed in and fixed its focus as it tracked her. She sat down, looking out the window. It was bright, and the camera didn’t seem to catch much detail beyond that. She sighed dreamily. " _I don't know why... I just love it here. So peaceful._ "

Leon flashed a glance over at James, who was fixated on the tape before their eyes.

Mary looked back towards the camera, towards James. " _You know what I heard_ ?" She looked gentle, kind. " _This area used to be a sacred place. I think I can see why... it's too bad we have to leave._ " 

Leon heard James take in a shaky breath.

Mary stood up, expression pleading. " _Please promise you'll take me again, James_." Leon was reminded of Sherry, who he had thrown himself into the grinder for-- during that one week on the run they had stopped at a quaint little diner on the side of a road, and though the food didn’t really leave much to be desired, Sherry had enjoyed herself anyways in the way only a bright and hopeful eleven-year-old could and thanked Leon, even going so far as to call it her favourite diner. 

Maybe he would request visitation with her as soon as he left this godforsaken place and take her there again. 

The tone shifted when Mary began to cough, and-- right. She was ill, wasn't she? James had said as much. That an unknown illness was what killed her.

The image on the screen began to skip and flicker-- Leon saw brief flashes of a bed and someone lying in it. The room was dark, and he felt unease settle deep in his stomach. 

"... James..." He began, but James didn't seem to even acknowledge he was nearby. "James, what is this?" 

Leon hadn't noticed it, but he was digging his nails into his arm. It hurt. Stung. Some part of him deep down wished he’d draw some blood. Suddenly their surroundings, drained of colour, felt sickening.

The image settled on the figure on the bed onscreen, and Leon could figure it out. Mary, of course-- and he saw James come to approach her. 

The James in the tape bent over her and kissed her on the forehead. There was no audio that they could hear as the James of the tape leaned back. A few moments of silence. That moment of silence, of pure stillness seemed to go on forever, and then-- something… awful.

James lurched forward and grabbed something-- Leon was startled, his eyes widened ever so slightly and he clutched a little harder at his arms-- the pillow under Mary's head, and the video cut and skipped between the peacefulness from the vacation and the gruesome sight of what was happening now, the darker video becoming blurry, unfocused, and Leon wanted to say he almost couldn't tell what was happening, but he _knew_ . Thrashing legs, arms insistently pressing down, _down,_ pressing harder and harder until he couldn’t tell if the body-- if _Mary--_ was moving any more, because before the moment she should have died, the tape faded back into white noise, into static, and Leon let his arms fall to his sides as he looked at James, who was hanging his head and staring at the floor. 

"... Mary..." James murmured into nothing.

"You..." Leon clenched his hands into fists. "You killed her." 

He wasn't sure if he had any sympathy for the wilted-looking figure of James Sunderland before him. 

James continued to stare at the floor. And Leon hated that.

"How the fuck could you do that? How could you--" Leon's voice was strangled, his brain trying to sort through the anger, the _sadness--_ "How could you do such a thing?"

Then Leon grit his teeth and let his now hate for James Sunderland wash over him. 

It was like a tidal wave had crashed over him, swallowing him completely. Leon moved in front of James and grabbed the collar of his jacket, forcing James to look at him. "You mean to tell me that you fucking murdered your wife?! The person you came here for in the first place? She's dead because you were the one who killed her?" 

James had a far away look in his eyes and didn’t meet Leon’s gaze.

"Tell me, James, did you think it was so fucking funny to string me along like this, put me through hell, looking for a person you claimed to love but you fucking murdered?" Leon spat the last word, so full of hate that it was almost like it was a slur. "I protected you this entire time from the fucked up monsters that haunt this place. I threw myself in harm's way because I felt like I should protect you. I faced my worst nightmares for the second time because I wanted you to be able to run and stay alive. I relived everything that ruined me and made me who is standing in front of you right now. And now it's all for fucking nothing, everything we went through--" 

Leon let go of James and brought a hand up into his hair and gripped it like he wanted to hurt himself, the dull ache barely noticeable to him past the turmoil in his head.

"This entire time, I thought you were a good person, James! I could have died for you as long as you got back home alive, but you’re-- just a fucking _murderer_." He didn't know what settled in his chest now-- fury and ache mixed together and created something he couldn't explain. 

"I wanted--” He sucked in a shaky breath through clenched teeth-- “I wanted to ask you-- ask you out after this, you know? Get a few drinks or some shit-- after you got closure with Mary. After we both got out of here, for fun, but-- you're sick, you're fucking sick, James, how could you do that--"

The door opened, the sound making Leon look up, seeing Laura walk into the room. Suddenly the unrecognizable emotion in his chest fell away as his heart dropped into the pit of his stomach.

Had she heard Leon yelling? 

But she seemed unperturbed, innocent as ever, quickly walking over to where James and Leon were in front of the television. 

Leon looked down at her, feeling dread and ache and fear. He softened his features-- the animosity he felt for James was gone by now, replaced by a hollow feeling in his chest. Laura looked at Leon, who cast his gaze downwards. He couldn't imagine how Laura might feel about what they'd discovered.

"So there you are, James! And Leon too!" She said playfully. "Did you get the letter? Did you find Mary?" She then looked back up at Leon as she shoved at James' shoulder. "If not, let's get going now, okay?" 

Laura shoved against James, trying to get him to move, Leon sighed and reached out for her. "... Laura--"

At that moment James looked up slowly, a pain in his eyes that Leon felt in his chest. He met Laura's eyes and leaned forward. "... Mary's gone. She's dead." 

Her face twisted in sadness and she clenched her fists. "Liar! That's a lie!" Laura backed up into Leon, the back of her head bumping into his ribcage. She looked up at him, bright blue eyes brimming with tears and begging him for comfort. "Leon, he's lying! He's a liar, isn't he?" Her voice frayed at the edges, she seemed on the verge of crying. 

Leon didn't know what to say. He opened his mouth to speak, but James was still looking at Laura.

Did James not want to look at him?

"... No. That's not true." James said softly. At first Leon thought it was a response to what he’d said in his head, but...

Leon carefully placed a hand on Laura's shoulder. He wanted to take her away from here, get her away from James before he told her the horrible truth about the nice lady who had been her only friend. But he felt frozen. For the first time in a while, he felt frozen.

Laura frowned. "She-- she died 'cause she was sick?" 

James looked down and away again, shame and regret washing over his features. "No, I..."

Leon's other hand tightened into a fist at his side. He really was going to tell her, wasn't he?

"... I-- killed her." James sounded hesitant and in that moment Leon distantly wondered whether or not James felt guilty about it.

_Fucking asshole._

Laura was speechless, and she rested against Leon's front. He didn't have to look at her to know she was upset-- he felt it in the small tremors searing through her against his body, he heard the way Laura began to sniffle. And then Laura lurched forward, her tiny fists trembling from her anger.

"You _killer_! Why'd you do it?!" She wailed, her strangled tone driving a knife into Leon's chest. 

He never did like seeing children cry-- it only reminded him of Sherry. Sherry, who never cried-- and the day she had, the day they were separated, he would never forget how it broke his heart.

Laura took more steps towards James. "I hate you," She cried, "I want her back!" Her hands came forward to hit James' shoulder, who seemed to move only because she was pushing at him. "Give her back to me! I knew it! You didn't care about her!"

Laura's tone wavered as she began to sob and pound her tiny fists onto James' shoulder. "I hate you, James! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!" Her voice broke at the last words, and Leon could feel that knife twist in his chest. He reached out and grabbed her by the shoulder, gently calling her name, trying to get her to calm down even just a little bit, feeling tears well up in his eyes as well. He wanted to hug the little girl, try to ease her sadness just a bit, but he just...

"... She was always waiting for you," Laura said weakly, "Why? Why?" 

Leon watched as James hung his head again. The man's shoulders fell slack with an unsteady breath, and then he just began to shake his head. "I'm... sorry." A pathetic apology-- Leon wanted to grab him by the collar and force him to say it with more meaning, but Laura was here, and he knew that no apology, no matter how heartfelt, would ever make up for what James had fucking done. 

James had broken Leon's trust in him.

James had broken Laura's heart. 

James had also broken his own self.

James began to stand and Laura moved against Leon again. He looked down at Laura, his tired eyes so full of hurt. "... The Mary you know isn't here." He murmured, hands limp at his sides.

Leon didn't notice Laura had wrapped her small hand around some of his fingers for reassurance, for comfort, until she yanked it away, looking dejected as she walked off. Leon had half the mind to go after her, wipe her tears, hold her hand and give her comfort, be someone she could trust, but…

... He didn't trust himself enough to raise a child. After all, once Sherry had been taken in and put into foster care, Leon was actually _glad_ because then he wouldn’t fuck her up, what with all the baggage from Raccoon. How in the world could he trust himself with Laura? 

Not only that, but he still needed to sort through what he was feeling. He felt like a ticking time bomb, and he didn’t want to break in front of Laura. With what she’d heard just now alone, she had probably seen enough.

He looked at James, who stared at the spot where Laura had been standing. The door opened and closed, not even with a slam-- Laura was no longer angry, Leon knew that at this point, she was just hurting. 

James continued to stand there, eyes unfocused. Like he wasn't here. Like the victims of the T-virus. "Laura..." He began-- and then he slowly dragged his eyes up to meet Leon's. Leon could see nothing in those eyes except for guilt, for pain. "... Leon."

“Don’t-- don’t fucking talk to me.”

Leon knew how he had felt about James Sunderland.

He was awkward when they first met. Proved himself to be even more so as they explored Silent Hill. 

As much as Leon hated James right now, he couldn't deny that he had… somewhat fallen in love with this man. 

Leon hated himself for falling for basically whoever showed any kindness to him-- he craved something _good_ , something _nice_ , he craved the praise and the kindness and the gentleness from someone who even so much as smiled at him. He’d been alone for the past 7 years and counting. Sherry of course was in protection practically growing up in _fucking house arrest_ with even Leon unable to see her just so she could be _safe_ , Claire had gone to search for her brother when she left the first time and was involved with Terrasave. Hunnigan, who was his handler and someone he had a steady relationship with, but she was merely his communications operative to begin with. Ada-- Ada, who he thought died, he found alive on that island and working with _Albert Wesker_ of all people. Krauser was his _partner_ in all senses of the word, but-- 

The scar on his cheek burned with newfound vigor and it was like he felt the knife kiss his skin mere moments ago.

James was a welcome sight for sore eyes-- despite his awkwardness Leon had found some sort of sanctuary in him. He was just a regular human being, someone _normal_ that he could trust himself to relax even a little bit around, nobody that expected him to so easily throw himself into the grinder, nobody that expected him to be a hero, nobody that expected him to be anything more than human _._

James had smiled as they continued on together in this town, this suffocating town that felt more like a _tomb_ than anything-- sometimes he smiled sheepishly at something dumb, and he would never forget about how subtly but still genuinely happy he sensed James felt when they reunited after they'd gotten split up-- twice-- but most importantly, he had smiled warmly when Leon had, though embarrassingly, given in and let everything fall off of his chest. When he had released the floodgates to the pain he shouldered. 

James was there with him, hand on his back, offering smiles and comfort and words of affirmation like Leon was someone special, like Leon was someone worth saving, even though he was so horribly fractured and broken.

Like Leon was someone worth loving, even with his psyche smashed to a million pieces.

To Leon it felt as though James would willingly pick up and piece together every single shard of his shattered sense of self. 

One night or one day isn’t enough to get to bond properly with someone, but if you go through hell then you start to know the other in a deep and intimate way more quickly. James had seen him bend and break, and James was patient, like he cared and thought Leon was _human--_

He thought he could trust this man he thought was kind and gentle, but…

Leon told himself to stop getting too attached before it killed him.

As James collapsed back into the seat, Leon began to walk past him, leaving behind the chair and the man sitting in it, but soon, he also fell away, dropping onto his knees. He couldn’t feel anything anymore. He hadn’t felt this numb since the night after Raccoon, or since the night he’d been separated from Sherry. Leon leaned back until he was sitting on his legs and stared at the floor. Everything seemed to come to a still then.

The two men had a moment of silence, alone together.


End file.
